


The Twitter Account of John Watson

by bwblack



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Gen, Humor, Twitter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-01-23
Updated: 2012-01-23
Packaged: 2017-10-30 00:18:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 588
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/325691
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bwblack/pseuds/bwblack
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Instead of a blog, John Watson has a twitter account.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Twitter Account of John Watson

“John, you’re a soldier. It’s going to take you a while to adjust to civilian life. Tweeting about everything that happens to you will honestly help you.”

“Nothing happens to me,” John answered quickly.

She didn’t believe him.

Honestly, he started tweeting mostly to prove his point.

 **ExArmyDoctor** Nothing Happens to me.

 **DontCallMeHarriet** It’s good nothing happens to you  @exarmydoctor. Everything will fit in 140 chars or less. Plus less shooting. Drinks?

He didn’t tweet again until January. Harry forced the issue by giving him her old phone, already preloaded with a twitter ap.

Commenting on the things he saw as he went about his day didn’t make him feel any more connected to the world. But it did stave off boredom. Time spent in physical therapy waiting rooms was less dreadful when he could spend 14 seconds commenting on another person’s shoes.

His shoe tweets even got some retweets. A @landladyTurner apparently retweeted all photos of hideous shoes.

Was this a life? Not as such, but it provided some amusement.

Walking through the park one afternoon he even chuckled a bit when he noticed several birds milling about.

 **ExArmyDoctor** Tweet, Tweet.

He ran into Mike Stamford just as he received his sister’s reply.

 **DontCallMeHarriet** Should that be under  #RockinRobin RT @ExArmyDoctor Tweet, Tweet?

He rarely liked his sister, less when she was on about the proper use of hashtags!

 **ExArmyDoctor** I’ve just met the most extraordinary man.

 **DontCallMeHarriet** That’s never happened to me.

 **ExArmyDoctor** You do still have a job, don’t you  @DontCallMeHarriet?

Worried he was about to open a can of worms he began Googling how to delete a tweet as soon as he hit enter. Less than a minute later he was hovering over his tweet looking for the little delete icon when the reply came through. Damn his thumbs!

 **DontCallMeHarriet** @ExArmyDoctor I’ve got a job and a flat and a savings account.

John was trying to decide if he was a big enough man to turn the other cheek and not mention the divorce when he noticed a new follower.

 **TheConsultingDetective** You think I’m extraordinary,  @ExArmyDoctor?

John smiled and checked the text the man sent from his phone.

 **ExArmyDoctor** Did the brother have a green ladder @TheConsultingDetective? And why did it matter?

He didn’t tweet again until Sherlock abandoned him at the crime scene.

 **ExArmyDoctor** Where do you find a cab in Brixton?

 **DontCallMeHarriet** Have you tried  @tweetalondoncab? Tell them “Happy Harry” referred you, @ExArmyDoctor.

 **UmbrellasAreEssential** A car is coming for you now.

 **TheConsultingDetective** Don’t go with  @UmbrellasAreEssential! @ExArmyDoctor. Take a proper Taxi. #StopItMYCROFT!

 **UmbrellasAreEssential** @ExArmyDoctor needs a ride, because you abandoned him on the other side of town. That isn’t polite.  #TellingMummy

 **ExArmyDoctor** Found a cab, thanks for the help. Sort of.  #DamnMyLeg

 **DontCallMeHarriet** @ExArmyDoctor , Yay hashtags!

He was just trying to remember how to stick his tongue out online when the cabby brandished a gun and told him to put the phone away.

 **ExArmyDoctor** A more observant cabby would have realized I could recognize a real gun, having been shot with one.

 **ExArmyDoctor** Called 999. Help arrived in the form of a black Mercedes in less than 60 seconds. Odd.  #Don’tMessWithTheDoc

 **TheConsultingDetective** @ExArmyDoctor You’re learning. Dim Sum?

 **Don’tCallMeHarriet** What Happened? John? John? John?

 **UmbrellasAreEssential** Maybe you should use a hashtag  @DontCallMeHarriet. I monitor all the hashtags.

 **TheConsultingDetective** @UmbrellasAreEssental is the hashtags!

 **Don’tCallMeHarriet** Are you okay  @ExArmyDoc? What happened? Details.

 **ExArmyDoctor** No room for details on twitter.

 **DontCallMeHarriet** A blog post then? Or a phone call?

 **TheConsultingDetective** Blogs are so the 20th century.


End file.
